Ode to Karl Stefanovic
by Undermensch
Summary: A sweeping ode dedicated to the pulchritudinous, sensuous nature of an Olympian (Australian) God.


**Ode To Karl Stefanovic**

Oh how I'd like to run my fingers over the seams of your freshly pressed Armani suit.  
I would sure like to grasp your sacrosanct foot and literally release to the clouds.  
Your smartly conservative hair cut graces my eyeballs as I ogle you through the haze of my cathode ray television (which I plan on upgrading in September).  
I would like to swim your channel, to be afloat on the lustful seas of your fluid.  
Oh how I'd like to kill that bitch Lisa and send you her frozen limbs as a token of my affection.  
I can be the anodyne to your erectile dysfunction.  
I press my longing bosom against your life-size cut out I keep in my basement.  
In this dystopian century, you are a resplendent beacon of euphoria, and I would like to claim and imbibe your nourishing semen to ameliorate my woes.  
My orifices crave your engorged love-tool. Fill me, Karl, I need your man-dagger.  
How I should desire to claw your snarled, grizzled love forest and pluck from it the various pubic lice that desire your sensual oils more than I.  
My overflowing vessel erupts at the sight of your ruggedly masculine yet delicate elbows.  
I should tear from you those professional garments to view you unclad and yearning to accept my throbbing love muscle.  
Sneak in through the back door of my internal nightclub of desire.

Into my voracious maw I shall take every available appendage and once your waterlogged member exits, satiated, move to caress your perfect, manly frame.  
Impale me, oh Vlad, with your long rod. I want to feel you penetrate me from both directions.  
I wish to meander through your southern grasslands, and arrive at that un-branched but thickened eudicot of pleasure.  
Smother me with the untamed shag-pile rug that is your chest hair.  
Allow me to cup those your swollen fruits of below, which are like frosted globes of precious fluid, like the ball a sportsman reveres (like Cameron), like two earths in my palm.  
I envy the audio-piece that penetrates your ear, I can only wait for the day you glaze me with your excretions.  
I am desirous of a position as a dictator, I wish to command the legions dwelling your scrotal utopia to march right over me.  
My body twitches and convulses like a cankered heart going into arrhythmia.  
Fire me as a projectile from your sacred loins, awash in a shimmering sheen of manly afterbirth.  
My alter of love awaits your odour, like incense perfuming a cathedral; of lust that is.  
Force me to my knees, and knight me with your gleaming scepter, o thou sexual monarch.  
Rejuvenate my folds with your life giving serum.  
I could be as an Egyptian embalmed in your preserving, sensuous liquids.  
Straddle me with your thunderous thighs. Sculpted muscles like a gift from heaven or a curse from hell.  
Rend each cavity anew with your ferocious battering ram, and deposit into them burgeoning colonies of infinitesimal versions of you.

Open Pandora's Box and dive deep into my pit of eternal darkness.  
Launch your seeking probe into the extremities of my quivering, receptive manhole.  
The moist lining of my insides beckon a repetitive friction based motion. Won't you heed their call?  
Allow your intrepid, rigid traveler to forcefully breach my southern portal, and experience the pleasures of the inner corporeal world.  
Be the Batman to my Robin and fill my Batcave with your Batmobile.  
I want to asphyxiate on your air of pheromones, to drown in the white tides of your passion.  
Beat against my drums like the wild savage that you are. Make sweet music from the surface of my flesh.  
Allow me to explore the tactile and gustatory pleasures of your furred undergrowth and protruding missile.

Your eyes are a pool I'd gladly drown in because I love you for eternity

Allow me to dance your tribal totem pole, and take this enfeebled frame as an offering, and re-moisten my desiccated holes

My nipples ache from the sight of your chiseled nose

Take me, your bondman, in chains to your sexual perdition. Thrust me asunder with your alabaster shaft!

Bend me like a cheap fork and set my prongs deep within your flesh.

Slide your monolithic length into me, into ecstasy, and let us disintegrate in the throes of passion.

Engrave my torso with your chiseling tool and carve your desire into the crevice of my swollen breasts.

Over me you shall reign until my body is completely encrusted with your manly juices.

Glide yourself over my smooth perspiring body and ride the bumps of my curving form.

Seize my rump and in a forceful motion insert yourself, driving my crippled body into the floor

I open wide for you, my love, because I know of the enormity of your... passion.

Expel your manly relish onto all surfaces of my frame, dominate me, annex my body, man-meat!

Pound my foundations until I disintegrate from the intensity of your unrelenting jackhammer.

Gag me with your megalith, choke me with your love.

I drink the sweet nectar of your manhood until my insides rupture like swelling pleasure-steeple from which the juice came

I fawn over your erect idol, begging for its presence in my moist cave of worship.

I'll ride you hard, mighty stallion! "Yee haw!"

Allow me to place my chapped lips upon your skin-trumpet and elicit from you the melodic song of your pleasured moans.

I bleed for you for I cannot expel the potent elixir of immense passion that you eject into my damp well.

Hear my melodious sighs as you devour the saccharine banquet between my thighs

Insert yourself into me and make me a puppet of your ecstasy

With that great colossus who is housed between your legs, tear me, destroy me, rip my body to shreds!

Dance for me my beautiful man-nymph as the heavenly trumpets of foreboding gratification blare their loud love-symphonies

Obliterate my virginity with your pulsing, ruddy organ

Thrust into me unrelentingly until I am nothing but a paste of happiness and your oozing fluids.

With your masculine obelisk, deflower me!

Grab onto my extremities and climb high to the point of my inviting face-cavities.

It dwarfs the Column of Constantine, your insatiable, throbbing nightstick!

Your enormous swinging appendage is like a pendulum ticking until the time our bodies collide and your cuckoo bird can be ejected from its cage

Pound your glowing Excalibur into the prominent rocky crevasse of my body, and it shall ne'er be removed.

Like a sculpture carving out his desires you grind into my jagged gypsum into a perfect alabaster form.

Render me insensate with the unleashing of the force of your marble rod.

Crush me with your hefty frame so I can feel the asphyxiation of your toned and firm body.

On each surface of this room, of this world, of this universe - take me, you sexual conqueror of mankind!

Beat me with your pain-stick until you are old and it is nothing but a leathery whip, slave master

Unleash your minute conquistadors upon my chest, and I shall be subservient to their will!

Your love-fluid is like a metastasizing cancer, spreading all over my body.

Allow your viscous expulsions a home in my cupped hand, the cradle for the incipient lives from your love gun.

Let me rub oil and spices over your form so you can roast inside my furnace of lust and emerge as a delicious feast for me to feed upon.

Moisturize my epidermal layer with your manly discharge!

Spin me around your maypole until I am a twisted weave of Renaissance love-ribbons.

Allow your sexual caterpillar to break free of its skin-cocoon and indulge in the sumptuous delights of my body


End file.
